All Of The Best Cyber Monday Beauty Deals That You Need to Know About This Year

You’ve constructed it through the unofficial high school reunion at your local bar on Thanksgiving Eve, your annoying aunt asking you about your love life at the Thanksgiving dinner table, and the insane lines at the local outlets on Black Friday. So now, after everything you’ve tolerated over the past few days surrounding a holiday that is designed simply to make you fatter( and I guess to construct you recognise how grateful “youre supposed to”, but fatter nonetheless ), your strength( and willpower to hop-skip your second part of pumpkin tart) is being rewarded with Cyber Monday beauty sales.

Whether your vacation shopping list is filled with people who have an adoration for beauty products, you need to purchase a few moisturizers to prep your skin for the harsh winter weather, or you only feed too much last Thursday and need some de-bloating capsules for inexpensive, we’ve got the best Cyber Monday bargains on your favorite beauty products. Get ready to stock up your beauty cabinet and spare your bank account.

Vita Liberata

Give your pasty wintertime skin a bronze incandescence for inexpensive on Cyber Monday with 25% off everything on Vita Liberata’s website.

Amazon

Even if you’re not an Amazon Prime member( which, why the f* ck aren’t you ?), you can get free shipping on any Amazon buys during Cyber Monday. The committee is bound to be a few more deals that roll out, but free shipping is the most notable as of right now.

Bliss

If you’ve ever been to a Bliss Spa or you’re only a huge devotee of Bliss products, you’ll love their widened Cyber Monday marketing. From Wednesday to Monday, you can store 25% off everything on Bliss’s website using the code “THANKS”. If you plan on browse online at Target for Cyber Monday, you can buy one Bliss product and get the second for 50% off. If Ulta is your go-to site, then you can cop some Bliss Body Butters for 40% off.

Target

On Black Friday, when you buy one of Target’s holiday gift sets, you’ll get a second placed for 50% off its original retail price. While that is quite the steal, Tar-jay is bound to roll out even more Cyber Monday bargains, so stay tuned.

Clarisonic

If you or someone on your shopping list adorations applying Clarisonic brushings to cleanse or moisturize, you’ll need to check out their Cyber Monday marketing. You can get all Clarisonic decides for 20% off.

Peter Thomas Roth

If your skin would require a major pick-me-up, you’re in luck. Peter Thomas Roth is offering its Cucumber De-Tox Bouncy Hydrating Gel for $18 throughout Cyber Monday. You can also get their $254 value six-piece Mask Frenzy Kit for only $75.

Ardell

Ardell is offering 30% off their entire website on Cyber Monday. With your acquisition, you’ll even get a free Looks to Kill Sultry Night Out palette.

GlamSquad

If you have winter weddings coming up or a bougie friend on your shopping list who can’t blow dry her own hair, check out GlamSquad’s bargains. From now until Tuesday you can get insane discounts on both their website and app. Take advantage of 20% off a two-pack of makeup applications, 30% off a three-pack of makeup applications, and 25% off a three-pack of makeup applications and lashes. For blowouts, you can get 25% off a three-pack, 30% off a five-pack, or 30% off a 10 -pack.

Lime Crime

If you’ve never tried the highly pigmented and colorful products from Lime Crime , now’s your possibility. On Cyber Monday, you’ll receive a free Beet It Velvetine liquid matte lipstick with every purchase from their site.

Urban Decay

Urban Decay is giving you 5% off their NAKED Heat Palette as of Cyber Monday. You can also sign up for their Cyber Week promotion and receive 10 periods of deals.

Kerastase

If you’re trying to tame that winter static or need some styling products for all of those upcoming vacation parties, then check out Kerastase’s Cyber Monday deals. Until Tuesday, you are able to store the brand’s entire site for 20% off. You’ll likewise receive a free sample of Elixir Ultime. Don’t forget to snag that free shipping with the code “CYBM18”.

Dollar Shave Club

If you’re looking for a bargain on a gift for a human in your life, Dollar Shave Club is offering 30% off of sheaves from Black Friday until Cyber Monday.

Go Smile

If “youre trying to” get your teeth whitened, Go Smile is offering a discount on their White Box . On Cyber Monday you are able to purchase the box, which was initially retails for $162, for only $99. The box contains a Dental Pro, 28 counting stain erasers, whitening gel, and toothpaste.

Patchology

From Black Friday until Cyber Monday, grab some of your fav Patchology products in packaged Dusk Til Dawn Kit for 40% off.

Amika

Amika is having three different bomb-ass sales on Cyber Monday. To start off, you can get 20% off of any purchase of $75 or more employing the code “CYBER”.

If you expend a little bit more, you can receive a travel kit with Amika’s bestsellers including Perk Up Dry Shampoo, Velveteen Dream Smoothing Balm, Soulfood Nourishing Mask , and samples of Velveteen Dream Smoothing Shampoo and Conditioner applying the code “BESTIES” with your buy of $100 or more.

There’s also a travel kit with Amika’s bestselling curl products which includes Phantom Hydrating Dry Shampoo Foam, Nice Cream Cleansing Conditioner, The Kure Intense Repair Mask , samples of Curl Corps Enhancing Gel, and Curl Corps Defining Cream when you use the code “CURLS” with your buy of $100 or more. Remember that you can only apply ONE of these codes to your buy, so choose wisely.

Moroccanoil

If you spend $80 or more on Cyber Monday at Moroccanoil’s website, you are able to grab a free 2018 whisker and torso mini set.

E.l.f. Cosmetic

When you shop at e.l.f’s website this Cyber Monday, you’ll receive a free holiday gift with any purchase of $25 or more. Valued at $25, the endowment includes Need it Nude Eyeshadow Palette, Kohl Eyeliner, Beautifully Precise Smudge Brush, Moisturizing Lipstick in Bordeaux Beauty, and Baked Highlighter in Blush Gems.

The Beachwaver

From Black Friday until Cyber Monday, you can get 30% off everything on Beachwaver’s website utilizing the promo code “THANKS3 0”. On Cyber Monday, Beachwaver will have their Second Chance Dry Shampoo on sale for simply$ 5–an insane discount from its retail price of $24.

Stila

For $ 15 on Cyber Monday you can policeman Stila Cosmetics’ best sellers, HUGE Extreme Lash Mascara and Stay All Day Liquid Eye Liner. They are also providing free shipping on all orders over $50 with no codes needed. And, if you expend $60, you can get free shipping and a complimentary pocket stocked with five mini liquid lipsticks.

Ulta

While Ulta hasn’t officially released its listing of Cyber Monday deals, plenty of brands that are sold on Ulta have disclosed that they’re offering discounts between 30% and 40% off. Just trust that this beauty giant will have some major deals going on come Cyber Monday.

Sephora

Just like Ulta, Sephora hasn’t announced all of their Cyber Monday deals yet. Individual brands that are sold at Sephora have noted discounts to the tune of 25% to 40% off, so odds are, you’ll be able to save a ton of your hard-earned money at Sephora on Cyber Monday.

Snow Fox Skin Care

This Taiwanese skin care company was originally formulated for hypersensitive scalp, but is legit good for everyone. On Cyber Monday, their Combo Skin Recovery set–which includes Cucumber Recovery Tonic, Cucumber Recovery Serum and a mini Day& Night Cream–will be 50% off. No promo code necessary.

Images: Giphy( 5 )

Read more: https :// betches.com/? p= 41756

Diamond-encrusted tiara snatched in heist

Image copyright Welbeck Estate Image caption The tiara was designed for Winifred, Duchess of Portland to wear at the 1902 coronation of King Edward VII

Thieves have used power tools to smash an armored glass instance and steal a diamond-encrusted tiara “worth millions”.

The Portland Tiara was stolen in a robbery on the Welbeck Estate in Worksop, Nottinghamshire.

It was created for Winifred, Duchess of Portland, to wear to the 1902 coronation of King Edward VII.

An expert said he feared it could be broken up and the diamonds sold off separately.

Police said they believed a silver Audi S5 observed burnt out in Cross Lane, Blidworth, had been used by the thieves.

Black Friday 2018: Save $70 on the Xbox One X ‘Battlefield V’ bundle and get a free controller at Best Buy

Image: Electronic Arts

You’ve modernise the home theater, the TV and sound system are hooked up, but you’ve still got a launch day Xbox One sitting there collecting dust. It’s not 4K, so why bother hooking it up? But good news: it’s Black Friday, so it’s ultimately time to take the plunge into 4K gaming, and Best Buy has just the thing.

The Xbox One X Battlefield V Bundle is $429.99 at Best Buy right now, $70 off the original $499.99 cost. Along with information systems, you’ll be able to get an additional controller for free with this particular bundle.

If you’re looking for something to provide all your 4K content wants, the Xbox One X is ideal. Whether it’s a new play liberate with 4K upgrades available, streaming 4K from Netflix, or filling out your movie collecting, you’ll be able to fulfill all your 4K desires.

Battlefield V is also the perfect game to give you new ideas of the power the X is packing for the purposes of the hood. Graphically, it uses the latest iteration of developer DICE’s Frostbite engine for some of the best in-game graphics of any game on PC or console. And on a 4K console, you can imagine how good those tanks and explosions are going to look.

Image: Electronic Arts

It doesn’t hurt that Battlefield V is just one of the biggest play freeings of Fall 2018. On the single-player side, you can play through the War Stories campaign to experience different sides and theaters of World War II.

But if multiplayer is more your velocity, there’s Grand Operations or Firestorm. Grand Operations is a beefed-up version of Procedures from Battlefield 1, with two teams battling over multiple maps and themed after actual campaigns. Firestorm is Battlefield’s take on Battle Royale, with players plummeting in and fighting to the center of the map, and the last person or team standing wins.

And hey, you get an extra controller, which is always useful whether you play with other people on the sofa or smolder through controllers regularly. Just make sure to pick this up while Best Buy can still offer this Black Friday special.

The Most Dramatic Celebrity Scandals Of 2018 Betches

Celebrity scandals are what I live for. Okay, that is a slight exaggeration. But I enjoy the thrill of knowing a new part of rumor that lowers the level of perfection my fav celebrities have and stimulates them seem more human. 2017 was a pretty good year for celebrity scandals , but the celebrity scandals of 2018 did not frustrate. From feuds with the President to cheating scandals, 2018 was a dramatic AF year. Personally, I’m just glad it’s almost over. Then again, I said that about 2017, and 2018 turned out to be a route worse year. Well, whatever. I guess I have no way of knowing. Anyway, in no particular order, here were the most difficult celebrity scandals of 2018.

1. Stormy Daniels Vs. Donald Trump

The year started off with a BANG. On January 12, the Wall Street Journal disclosed that Trump’s lawyer paid Stormy $ 130,000 of hush money a month before the 2016 elections. After this was publicized, it snowballed into a major scandal, as it ever does when Trump is involved. In October, Stormy appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live and disclosed some juicy gossip. If you want to know what the President’s penis looks like, I highly recommend watching it( if you haven’t already ), or you are able to read this article where we transgressed it down. Or–and this is what I recommend–you could do neither and be living in a relative government of bliss, never knowing the details of our president’s penis.

2. Tristan Thompson Cheatin

In April, a period before Khloe Kardashian made birth to their daughter True, TMZ liberated videos of Tristan cheating on Koko. There had been rumors in the past of Tristan cheating, but it takes a real a ** hole to cheat on his girlfriend WHILE SHE IS IN LABOR. While the couple has remained instead hush-hush about the major scandal, Kim Kardashian( thank god) couldn’t maintain her sentiments to herself. She said, ” I dislike him.Sorry not sorry .” You bet I’m watching this season of KUWTK to discover all the drama unfold.

3. Allison Mack Sex Trafficking Scandal

WTF. Former Smallville actress Allison Mack was charged with sex trafficking, sexuality trafficking conspiracy, and forced labor conspiracy for her participation with the organization NXIVM. Girls were recruited to join the alleged sex cult that was branded as” a female mentorship group that addressed their weaknesses .” Well, that’s one way to set it. She is currently out on a$ 5 million bond and under house arrest in her parents’ California home. And my parents wouldn’t even let me come home if I got a public urination ticket.

4. The Markle Family Drama

Every family has their fair share of drama when it comes time for a wedding. But Meghan and Harry’s wedding had a unique define of dramatic events. First, Meghan’s half-sister, Samantha Markle, started commenting on multiple “mistakes” she believes Meghan has been attaining. Rightfully so, Meghan chose the only family members to be invited to her wedding would be her father-god and mother. But wait, there’s more( obvs ). After news violated that Meghan’s father staged photos for the paparazzi to take of him and earned some money, he decided he would not be attending the marriage” because he was get nerve surgery that very same day “. I guess becoming a princess really isn’t as glamorous as I thought.

5. Kylie Jenner’s Secret Pregnancy

This list wouldn’t be complete without the most ULTIMATE secret celebrity pregnancy of all time. Although rumors started circulating in September 2017, Kylie’s pregnancy was not* officially* disclosed until the birth of her daughter, Stormi, in February through an incredible video. But that didn’t stop fans from coming up with the most ridiculous theories for her maternity, including that she used Kim’s surrogate or her baby daddy was actually her bodyguard. Nonetheless, this was one of the biggest celebrity scandals of the year.

6. Nicki Minaj and Cardi B … Still

The drama between Cardi B and Nicki Minaj has been brewing since early 2017, but the real tea spilled at the Harper’s Bazaar ICONS party on September 7, 2018. A physical combat have broken out at New York Fashion Week, where Cardi hurled her heel at Nicki, but terminated up with a bruise on her own face. Like, LMK how that happens. The conflict is never-ending. It even contributed Cardi to post some nasty words about Nicki on Instagram. The timeline of their fight is too wearying to even think about so read all the details here.

7. Roseanne, The Racist

Twitter tends to be the resources of many large scandals these days, and TBH, I’m not mad about it. But the beauty of the internet is that even though something may be deleted, we can always find it. On May 28 th, Roseanne took to Twitter to address Valerie Jarett, Barack Obama’s adviser, and wrote” Muslim brotherhood& planet of the apes had a child= vj .” ABC ran quick and canceled her show revival immediately and liberated the following statement explaining that her beliefs do not align with theirs. She then get dropped by her talent agent and Roseanne reruns were no longer proved on Viacom channels. What did Roseanne have to say about this? She blames the tweets on the Ambien she had taken. Which literally nobody belief, and even the creators of Ambien clarified is not a real side effect.


When you get burned by a pharmaceutical corporation, take every seat.

Images: Giphy( 2 ); @iamcardib / Instagram; SanofiUS/ Twitter

Read more: https :// betches.com/? p= 41792

Lindsey Graham Accuses Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Of Comparing Refugee Caravan To Holocaust

Sen. Lindsey Graham( R-S.C .) wasn’t impressed when Rep.-elect Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez( D-N.Y .) said applying for asylum is not a crime.

In fact, Graham accused the newly elected congresswoman of comparing the caravan of refugees currently in Tijuana with the Holocaust.

On Sunday, Ocasio-Cortez posted a tweet that attempted to point out the similarities between the caravan the member states and other groups who’ve escaped desperate situations in their home countries.

On Monday, Graham decided that Ocasio-Cortez wasn’t actually asking for tendernes for the caravan members but was somehow insulting Holocaust survivors.

Although Graham likely thought he was “owning the libs, ” Splinter News pointed out why his tweet induced no sense in vicious style 😛 TAGEND

“First off: What kind of sociopath realizes a person conveying empathy at children being tear gassed, and thinks to themselves’ you know what they need? A museum! ’”

The website went on to suppose what might happen if Ocasio-Cortez did “take Graham up on his completely dickish suggestion” to visit the Holocaust Museum.

“Odds are pretty good that even though they are she’d be informed about the German transatlantic liner St. Louis , which spent weeks during the spring of 1939 urgently trying to find a port of departure for its hundreds of Jewish passengers fleeing the Nazi Government — merely to have their attempt to dock in the United States blocked by the Roosevelt administration since, as the Museum’s website explains‘ they did not have US immigration visas and had not passed a security screening.’”

Both specific comments by Ocasio-Cortez and Graham came after U.S. border agents fired tear gas on hundreds of migrants near the border with Mexico after some of them attempted to get through the fencing and wire separating the two countries.

On Monday, Ocasio-Cortez recommended another way to handle the caravan that she felt might have better makes than the current situation 😛 TAGEND

Read more: http :// www.huffingtonpost.com/ entry/ lindsey-graham-alexandria-ocasio-cortez-refugee-tweet_us_5bfc 69 d2e4b0771fb6bd0fe9

The Minte raises $2.25 million in seed funding to bring hotel-style housekeeping to luxury residences

As an MBA student at the University of Chicago’s Booth school, Kathleen Wilson was struck with new ideas while looking at enterprises that provided daily housekeeping in one of her class. Made the concentration and physical structure of many apartment buildings, she wondered why a housekeeper couldn’t similarly push a cart down the auditorium and spend an hour or reductions in each unit.

To test out her theory, Wilson and a classmate started cleaning the apartments of friends, spending 30 minutes to an hour at a time and trying to establish a reasonable cost degree for the study. Armed with enough data, Wilson then landed at a local real estate tech accelerator, formed her company, and locked down her first property handling company client, Waterton — and her efforts have been gaining momentum since.

In fact, her 20 -month-old startup, The Minte, which now applies roughly 60 people, is today announcing that it has raised $2.25 million in a round that brings the company’s total seed funding to $4.7 million. Dundee Venture Capital resulted this newest round; other investors in the company include MATH Venture Partners, Revolution’s Rise of the Rest Seed Fund, Firebrand Ventures, Blue Note Ventures and numerous angel investors. We had a quick converse with Wilson earlier this week to learn more.

TC: Can you tell us a bit more about your clients? Are they all property management companies like Waterton ?

KW: We merely provide service to apartments and condos, so our patrons are currently property management corporations such as Greystar, Bozzuto, Lincoln Property Company and CA Ventures. We have just under 70 properties in Chicago, another 20 in D.C. and we’ve been launching six to 10 new properties in each marketplace each month.

TC: The Minte have committed themselves to make a housekeeper available to a property full-time, correct ?

KW: Yes. A housekeeper is located on website for inhabitants to book cleaning services with them, so that inhabitants are provided with consistency and trust. To be clear, our housekeepers are full-time Minte employees with health benefits and paid time off. We retain our housekeeping cart and supplies at each property, and there’s a place for housekeepers to run if they have a bit of downtime, although that’s rare.

We do have some housekeepers who split their hour between properties, either if the property is smaller or if we’re still in the first couple months of service and still building demand.

TC: What induces the company think people would prefer to work with The Minte versus housekeepers they know? These are trust-heavy relationships, a feature that other housecleaning startups have overlooked to their harm .

KW: Exactly. We bring the personal trust by having the same housekeeper allocated to the property, which allows the housekeeper to get to know the residents, and we bring the corporate side of trust by having insurance, QA by both managers and the ability to send a backup housekeeper if someone is out sick. We also have top-notch, live customer service if there is ever an issue.

TC: What does your quality assurance process involve ?

KW: It’s a multi-tier process. First, we’ve enforced an eight-day develop program for all new housekeepers. Second, housekeepers and housekeeping directors with whom “were working” almost always have hotel backgrounds, having run at the Waldorf Astoria, The Conrad and Sofitel, to name a few. Third, housework administrators do random spot check of service. And fourth, users can rate and comment on every service, which we review in real day. It’s company policy to reach out to the resident any time something is less than four stars.

Also worth mentioning: our products are eco-friendly, P& G products, so there’s no compromise on the quality of our supplies.

TC: How do clients pay, and how much do they pay? Is this a subscription modeling ?

KW: They can pay a la carte — paying $30 for a hotel-style service, $90 for a deep clean for a one-bedroom apartment, for example — but over half of our cleans are residents who are on a recurring bundle. For clients on a bundle, they can customize how many deep cleans and/ or hotel-style cleans they have every four weeks, including which days those cleans occur.

TC: The home services framework is more prone to leakage, intending people form relationships and stop using the platform. Is this a concern ?

KW: Our staff members shall be full-time, so this is essentially a non-issue for us. With our housekeepers on our schedule throughout the week, it’s not feasible for someone to poach them.

Potentially a resident could do this on a weekend, but in our experience, one wants housekeepers to come when they are not home. Furthermore, the property director would tell us if our housekeeper was get keys outside of their Minte schedule.

TC: And how are you marketing the company ?

KW: Through our partnership with the property administrators, primarily.

TC: How will you use your new funding ?

KW: We’ll continue to enhance our tech. Our app is out this week, and we’re rolling out our smart home integration in the coming months. We’re making our button — which is now being physical hardware that goes on the wall inside each unit — more readily available. We’ll likewise expand more into condos and corporate dwelling and target our third metropoli in early 2019.

Read more: https :// techcrunch.com/ 2018/11/ 02/ the-minte-raises-2- 25 -million-in-seed-funding-to-bring-hotel-style-housekeeping-to-luxury-residences /

Home insurance provider Hippo brings in $70M amid a record year in funding for insurtech startups

Felicis Ventures and Lennar Corporation have co-led the $70 million Series C funding round for Hippo, a tech-enabled home insurance marketplace.

Existing investors in the startup, like Comcast Ventures, Fifth Wall Ventures, Horizons Ventures and GGV Capital, likewise were involved in these round.

Hippo has raised $109 million to date, including a $25 million Series B the beginning of this year. Co-founder and chief executive officer Assaf Wand declined to disclose Hippo’s valuation.

Wand, who co-founded the startup in 2015 with Eyal Navon, said he spent 14 times seeing the technology that would become Hippo, inspired by his father’s career in the outmoded insurance industry.

Hippo co-founder and chief executive officer Assaf Wand.

” I was born into insurance ,” Wand told TechCrunch.” Now, the entire real estate ecosystem is changing and service industries is massive. We are getting a crazy good challenge. We guess the sky’s the limit with this thing .”

The Mountain View, Calif.-based company officially launched to customers in 2017. It plans to use its latest investment to fuel the growth of its product, which sells home insurance programs at lower premiums. So far this year, Hippo has expanded into 10 new states and says its sales have grown 30 percent month-over-month since January.

Insurance startups have raised billions as industry players opposed tech disruptors

” Hippo has defined the bar for the future of insurance with its fully automated, proprietary policy management and proactive underwriting, ” Felicis managing director Victoria Treyger was indicated in a statement. “Insurance is the next big sector to undergo the dramatic metamorphosi of client experience and improved risk management enabled by access to real time data. We visualize Hippo’s current growth rate and effective automated policy management system as just the beginning of driving this transformation.”

Treyger will join Hippo’s board of directors as part of the round.

The insurance industry is indeed undergoing a dramatic change as a result of technology companies targeting the sector, which are part of a relatively new category of startups dubbed insurtech.

According to PitchBook, insurtech startups have raised virtually$ 6 billion in venture capital funding since 2012. This year alone, companies in the space have brought in a record amount of capital at $1.8 billion across 94 deals.

Whether or not the hype for the emerging category will continue into 2019 remains to be seen.

Read more: https :// techcrunch.com/ 2018/11/ 14/ home-insurance-provider-hippo-brings-in-7 0m-amid-a-record-year-in-funding-for-insurtech-startups /

15+ Cringiest Moments Where People Had To Say This Isnt What It Looks Like

We’ve all been caught in an uncomfortable situation that seemed weird on the outside but actually had a fairly reasonable explanation. Too bad, that often these experiences are so awkward for all the people involved that you don’t even have an opportunity to explain yourself. A Reddit user asked people to share their ‘biggest this isn’t what it looks like moments’ and the weave was flooded with the most embarrassing stories. Scroll below to read some and share your own in specific comments! ( Facebook cover image: iStock)

# 2

More of a “this isnt what it sounds like”…

A family we were close to had just moved to the US from India. They had a young daughter, like 5 years old, who was still learning English. One day she fell down the stairs while playing outside. She ran in hollering and saying “The stairs hit me! ” … once she calmed down her daddy corrected her and said “No no. You mean to say ‘I fell down the stairs’.”

A few days later my dad was demonstrating them the grocery store. In the checkout line the cashier understood the girl’s bruised up legs and asked what happened. The daughter responded with “What did you tell me to say, father? Oh right! I fell down the stairs.”

He had a fun time explaining that to the police.

# 3

It was my third day at my new office chore. When I washed my hands my gasps touched the counter top which was covered with sea. Naturally I now look like I pissed myself and had a giant 6 by 6 soaked area around my crotch. I couldnt walk around with that so I thought to use the hand dryer. Nonetheless, the hand dryer was the different types that you stick your hands in instead under. So I line up and basically mount this hand dryer like I am looking for a good time. I look at myself in the reflect and as I start believing “this wont appear good if…” and of course the CIO walks in before I could finish the thoughts and react. He looks at me and in deadpan voice says “Do I need to call HR? ” to which I responded “No, its consensual.” We had a good chuckle about it and he never let me forget that minute!

# 4

This is one of my mommas absolute favorite stories to tell:

My partner and I were in a kind of long distance relationship at this phase( high schoolers living 40 mins apart) and they are able to occasionally drive up after school to come see me

On this particular day my mommy came home from operate and was concerned with the lack of sound.

I hear her calling my name as she comes closer, she eventually gets to my closed bedroom door not wanting to see what I’m sure every parent is looking forward to by this point

She swings it open and observes my partner and I

…..putting together our brand new Millennium Falcon( full size for act figures) that we had just bought from Toys R us

My dog retained stepping on the pieces and messing things up in his dopiness so we shut the door

After that she never worried about us being alone.

Honestly think this might be the moment where my mom decided she wanted to adopt my partner.

Sometimes, I’m not sure who she loves more ……. s/

Btw – My partner and I got married this year and we still have that Millennium Falcon

# 5

I used to take my kids to different playgrounds as they were growing up. Often times I’d be out there with them, chasing them, being the random monster/ dragon/ foe while they run away and then eventually turn around and chase me back. Unavoidably since the rest of the parents were on their iPhones or doing anything but interacting with their kids, I’d end up with a collect who wanted to join in the fun.

It was all going well until they said they wanted to play “Minecraft”

So as a group of kids abruptly scatter from where I am standing screaming “Ah! Run away from the Creeper! Ahhh! ” I look up to see a line of parents abruptly jostled back into consciousness with absolutely no friggin context whatsoever.

# 6

My dad not me. Working construction in the dead of winter he gets back to the motel after drawing the night shift, he sits down on the couch and he is so frozen can’t bend down to take off his boots so his coworker who is a gigantic man gets down on his knees to undo my dad’s boots. The cleaning lady barges in to realize a massive humankind on his knees and head down in front of another man who’s sitting on the edge of a bed. Now my father did what anyone would do hurl his hands behind his head and moaned real loud.

# 7

Anytime I open a can that isn’t cat meat I have to explain to my feline that “this isn’t what it looks like.”

# 8

I work as a administrator at a grocery store. Some cashiers aren’t old sufficient to scan booze so I have to do it for them. I made a comment to a girl cashier after the 4th period she called me over. “I can’t wait until you’re 19. ” Took me a few seconds to realize what I said, in front of customers.

# 9

I used to work security/ reception at my corporation, so I greeted everyone when they came in the door and built sure they were wearing their safety badge. You could either wear your badge on a lanyard around your neck or on a retractable belt clip.

So I’ve been doing this job for like 2 years when I’m outside talking to some of the girls that work on the 2nd storey. One of them only flat out asks why I ever check out women when they come in to visit.

Excuse me?

Turns out, there was a lot of talking here how I was “looking women up and down” when they came through the door. Well, I was seeming everyone up and down. I would look at their chest first and if there was no badge there, my eyes would move to their belt. It was kind of my job and stuff.

#10

I will preface this by saying a couple of weeks prior to this, my spouse had bought some frilly underwear on clearance sale, and a couple of bananas to eat on the way to work. I was chilling in the car at the store while “shes gone” in when I smelled nasty over-ripe bananas. I reached into the backseat and pulled out the purse that had been forgotten back there. I take the underwear out of the purse and tie the old banana up dog poo style. No big deal, right?

For whatever reason, my brain goes I wonder if these brand new underwear now reek of old squishy banana? and I threw them to my nose and take a big whiff- right as a sweet old lady draws into the parking spot in front of our auto. She looks at me, panties pressed into my nose inhaling deeply, her eyes move wide-ranging with surprise, and visibly sway, she draws back out of the place and drives away. Literally leaves. Shopping trip-up cancelled. I know I had to look like some kind of degenerate pervert on a public minge-binge, but it wasn’t what it looked like.

TLDR: Seemed like a unclean panty smelling weirdo in the grocery store parking lot, nearly stimulate old lady stroke out in horror

I went to my friend’s house last night( edit: not actually last nighttime. I told this story before on Reddit and copy-pasted it without changing the time frame) and came back around 12:30 am. To set some context, my friend lives about an hour away from me on the opposite side of the city. When I was driving back home afterwards, this automobile cut me off on the on ramp, and I honked at them. I then turned back up the music, and pretty much drove home on autopilot, but when I got off the road at my exit, I realized that the same car that cut me off was in front of me. After that, I get kind of curious, because it had been about 30 minutes since the incident, and we’d changed roads twice already. I then got a little bit worried that they’d envision I was following them home, but I didn’t think too much of it–until the car started going up the same side streets I did.

Eventually, I realized that my 16 -year age-old neighbour who simply learned how to drive cut me off, and she and her friends were probably now petrified that some lunatic was following them home. I guess she’d called her mothers in the meantime because she drew into her driveway and the house lights were all lit up, and her father( a huge guy) was standing outside with a baseball bat. I then drew into my own garage and apologized for frightening them and it was all chill after that.

#12

When I was little, my mommy would sometimes take me working in cooperation with her at a little store she operated. I would often pass the time( and stay out of moma

s mane) by depicting and handing out my a

works of arta

to clients. One period, when I was 3 or 4, I learned about dialing 911. I apparently reckoned the concept was so important, I wrote a

bellow 911 a

on all the doodles I handed out to the customers at moma

s shop that evening. Patently people starting supposing I had been kidnapped or something, and freaked out. My mama had fun explaining that one to the police!

#13

My boyfriend and I had a fight and both went to bed grumpily( we therefore housemates and had separate bedrooms ). In the middle of the night I heard a LOUD thump in the living room area of the house. I grabbed my baseball bat and went through the entire house with the at-bat( and the daylights on ). Every closet, every closet, etc. Nothing was out of order and the doors were locked. I was still scared and running high on adrenaline.

It was about 4:30 in the morning and I had to get up at 6 so I only gave up on going back to sleep before that. I debated what to do for the hour and a half and decided to go to IHOP( open 24 h where I live ). As I was about to leave I realized that if I left my sleeping boyfriend in the house and the killers WAS actually still there and killed him I would feel highly guilty. So I went to wake him up just enough to warn him before I left for IHOP.

He woke up to me leaning over his couch, comprising a bat, and whispering about slaughter. He almost cried.

#14

I was 16 and my parents only left the house for a dinner out. I had to do laundry so I start right after they left the door to get it done as early as possible.

As I’m filling the machine I notice a stain on my shirt and so I threw it with the rest of the clothes. I also look at my pants and decide to add them as well along with my socks and…f ** k it my underwear as well.

So I’m butt naked and I start the machine. I rush to the stairs to get to my room and dress up and that’s when the front door( which is right where the stairs are) opens and I freeze.

My dad comes in and sees me naked. We both aren’t moving a few seconds and then he laughs, grabs his wallet on the table and says: “So THAT’S what you are doing while we aren’t here? “. He then closes the door while giggling.

I’m there still in shock and ruby-red as a beet. I rush to dress and call my parents on my mother’s cell phone to tell them it’s not what they suppose as they are just laughing their ass off.

#15

My best friend of 15 years, J, is a guy and with me being a girl we have always tolerated people assuming we HAVE to have sex. Spoiler: we dona

t.

Anyways, we are camping with a few friends and got supremely drunk. One of my girlfriends, M, has taken off into the lumbers after a fight with her boyfriend and the 4 of us are trying to find her. At this level, Ia

m so full of tequila I know Ia

m are due to vomit so I ask my best friend to hold my whisker back.

We are in complete darkness, Ia

m on all fours puking, hea

s awkwardly standing in front of me kinda crouched down because hea

s a foot taller than me and comprising all my mane up while I heave. It looked … I know HOW it seemed but on “peoples lives” I was get sick. At this exact moment, M runs out of the woods, flashlight directly on us and shrieks a

HOLY S ** T SHES BLOWING HIM! a

Ia

m legit retching so hard I dona

t even heard her. By the time we got back to the campfire M had told everyone else what she saw. Shea

s still adamant to this day that she knows what she saw.

Edit: wow everyone got the incorrect suggestion of M wholly! Shea

s truly not a b ** ch, dramatic OH GOD yes but a b ** ch no. We had a metric f ** k ton of tequila that night no one was thinking rationallyd

As for J, hea

s not in the a

pal zonea

ya f ** kina

sad fathers. Ita

s possible to desire someone, enjoy their company and emotional support, without craving or required to be put your genitalia into their assorted body cavities.

#16

Back when the Netflix app on Xbox had the theatre define where you could invite pals and watch movies. My pals and I were watching the history of sex film( being horny 12 year olds and thinking sex was funny) they paused the video on the statue of two guys f ** king, then my father strolled in. I looked at him embarrassed saying, “this isnt what it looks like” my father said, “it’s okay mike I’d love you anyways” and walked out.

#17

Alright, as a student, when I visited my hometown I got to visit my grandmother before leaving back to university and granny always had small-scale chocolates for people visiting her. Her grandchildren would get more than one usually. As I was leaving the house she gave me one more to have it during the travel back home.

I ate a piece of chocolate while loading my stuff in the car and I throw the small chocolate in my back pocket, right before I say goodbye to my mothers. It was a hot day at the end of summer.

A bit before the exit to the freeway I was taking, I stopped at a traffic light and realized that the chocolate between my butt and my vehicle seat was not a good mind, so I’m reaching for it. Chocolate already melted and package already open attained my left hand full of melted chocolate.

Following the loud “well, s ** t”, I realize that the girl in the car next to me only appreciated a guy reaching his butt and bringing his hand up again full of a dark-brown unknown sticky thing.

The look on her face was entirely worth it. Simply bad thing is that melted chocolate won’t go away merely with tissues.

#18

My friend and I were sitting at lunch bitching about this Chris guy who was in our class and who was an absolute twat. Really not a nice human being. At one point I turned around and insured another Chris, an absolute sweetheart, sitting nearby seeming utterly crushed. Took 5 minutes to convince him that we were not talking about him. I felt so bad though.

#19

Not me but a kid I worked with. He comes in to the violate room comprising some sandwiches and a Dr Pepper, sits down and starts eating and then tries to have a liquor but he can’t open it. I offer to twist the eyelid off but no, he can do it he says.

So he puts this Dr Pepper in between his legs, grabs the eyelid with both hands and spins. This, patently, wasn’t a bright suggestion. It explodes over his lap attaining him look like he’s pissed himself.

So he goes to the bathroom to clean up, gets some loo rolling and starts mopping up but it still looks really bad.

Over by the radiator is a hand dryer, so in his infinite wise he throws one foot on top of the radiator and the slants his crotch to the hand dryer and starts rubbing furiously as the hand drier’s going.

Unluckily for him, he’s facing away from the door so when the next guy walkings in all he can see is this skinny dude rubbing his crotch like no tomorrow while waving it for the purposes of the hand drier.

Apparently the guy only walked right on back away after muttering a “sorry”.

He didn’t find it funny when I pointed out the Dr Pepper motto was “What’s the worst that can happen? “

#20

One time during my teens, I was utilizing my grandparents’ computer to look up video game cheater codes. I was worried they might disapprove that I was employing cheats, so when my grandfather strolled into the room, I rapidly minimise the window and turned around to say hello and ask what he needed.

His response: “Oh nothing important, I’ll just come back later.” He virtually seemed to be rushing out.

I turned back to the computer screen in confusion, be noted that minimise the window had disclosed a pornographic pop-up ad hiding in the background. I was super embarrassed. He never mentioned it though.

I put my daddy in this situation when I was a kid. Probably around 10 years old or so.

For context, my papa rarely drank in front of us growing up but would occasionally have a beer. As parents often do, he would have me move get it for him if we were in the same chamber. I was a lazy kid and didn’t want to miss whatever we were watching on TV so I often observed this to be an exasperation but somewhat minor in the grand strategy of things.

So one day he’s chatting with a couple coworkers and I’m there. They were joking around about something and he turns to me and asks “You like me, right? ” I answer back “Yeah except for when you drink beer”.

Adult me face palms every time I think about that. My dad is awesome.

#22

My boyfriend and I were hopping on the trampoline together years ago, merely ricochetting around like a couple of kids, giggling our butts off. It was fun! He accidentally butt dialed his parents, who speakerphoned our laugh, creaking springtimes, and gasping to a auto loading of people. They were all mortified. We were able to set it straight afterwards, but OOF. Sorry mom and dad.

#23

The girl I was dating during sophomore year of college and I were both organ majors, preparing for an upcoming duet.

During the summer, it was so warm in the church where we practised( no air conditioning, and the organ installed up high in the rear where it was extra hot) that she and I played in our underwear, with just a small devotee to move the air.

We were shocked when we heard the locked door open, and realise the pastor enter the church. He glanced at us, playing the organ in next-to-nothing, but promptly left and locked the door behind him.

Later he told me at first he did a double-take, but then recognized we therefore doing the smart thing – and that in his seminary days, he would’ve done likewise.

#24

I worked at a care home for the elderly. We had one patient who had Alzheimer’s and one of the few styles we had to soothe her when upset was to have her fold the napkins. I guess it stimulated her tranquilize to know she was being helpful, or maybe it reminded her of her past as a spouse/ mother.

So she was doing her folding one afternoon and a potential new inhabitant comes in with their own families. My resident with Alzheimer’s craves a change of tempo, but words it like “I’m genuinely getting tired…”

It looked for sure like were forcing elderly people with dementia to do all our operate … until they were exhausted.

#25

Technically my mom’s.

My eldest cousin was a little shit. She was with my mom( her aunt) at the grocery store. She was around 5. My mom told her she could pick a treat, she said she craved a candy and an ice cream. Mom said no, she had to pick 1.

So my cousin says to the cashier ‘shes not my mother! ‘ and the cashier freaks out reckoning cousins been kidnapped or something. Mom had to explain that she’s her aunt. I think they ended up having to call my aunt, cousins momma, to explain the situation. This was back in like ‘8 5. My mom’s still annoyed.

#26

Oh man. Sitting at a traffic light when I was eighteen. Craved to get something out of my pocket( chapstick I believe ). I was wearing jeans that, when sitting, might as well have locked pockets. I continue my eyes forward so I can see if the lighting turns green, while I dig into my pocket. Have to kind of thrust my hips upwards and move a bit to reach my hand amply into my jeans. During my gyrating pocket quest I induce eye contact with a girl traversing the crosswalk( Ia

m a guy ). A appear of horror crosses her face and she says something to her friend. The other girl gives me a disgusted seem as well and they hurry across the crosswalk. Ia

m sure it seemed bad from their perspective.

#27

I was getting ready to take a shower( my bedroom has its own bathroom/ shower) and I was already naked in my bedroom simply waiting for the sea to get hot. Well, my dog was also in my bedroom because he ever hangs out there. I was feeing M& Ms merely lying on my couch naked during this time and plummeted an M& M onto the ground and it rolled under my couch. Being very anxious about what my dog feeds( especially chocolate ), I promptly got onto my knees on the ground and went to reach for the purposes of the bed for the M& M. It rolled kinda far, so I was doing that thing wherever you stretching your arm out as much as you are able to for the purposes of the bed and just barely touching whatever it is youa

re trying to get, without knocking it farther away. Well, my golden retriever discovered the position I was in and walked over and mounted me. Literally at that moment, my momma opens the door to my bedroom and sees me butt naked, bent on my knees, with my bird-dog mounted behind me. I intend, talk about the doggy style point ……. I had a lot of explaining to do. It felt like an American Pie situation.

#28

When I was in secondary school we therefore roller skating and I couldn’t stop so I lifted my hands to not hit this girl in front of me. Of course I’m like “ahhhhhhhh” as I’m about to run into her and because of this she turns around right as I’m about to hit her and both my hands cup her boobs.

The teacher was like “Ron what the hell are you doing ?! “

#29

Not mine but just heard this story last week from a friend. At a ball game with his sister/ friend in law and 4-5yo nephew. Brother in line for concessions, sister back at seats or whatever, little one needs to use restroom, they tell my chum no problem merely head in with the kid he knows the drill. The kid, like many do, starts to various kinds of strip down before going to the bathroom starts asking inquisitive questions about why there are so many people in bathroom, why are things the route they are in that restroom, but ultimately culminating with the now practically naked little kid asking him in a crowded public restroom, “but where is my family? “

#30

Friend was growing weed in his closet, we were checking it out and his mama comes calling and then just walks right upstairs into his apartment. He runs out to intercept her, I run out 2 mins subsequently after closing up the rig, and she believes to this day we therefore having sex. Even told his then-fiance that she understands if we have a “group arrangement”…

Went to a friend’s house and since it was an after party for a play-act, in high school, on a Friday, of course there was beer and “weve all” underage. I wasn’t drinking but a buddy of mine needed to go home so I plummeted him off and headed back. As I get out of the car when I got back I noticed it was quiet but it’s a huuuge home( like 4-5k square feet) and I figured they were in the cellar doing something quieter and I couldn’t listen to them. Front door locked … OK I was just here 15 minutes ago, chief to back door, unlocked. Awesome. Now the whole house was beeping as if someone was breaking in. Holy fuck that’s this house right here. OH F ** K THAT’S ME.

Run into basement , nobody there. Upstairs , nobody there. Kitchen, lights off. Start to hear the house telephone reverberating but I don’t answer and I know it’s too late. Call friend , no response. Call another friend , no response. Read brew cans everywhere so I clean them up and conceal them, disguises the brownies they had, checked around the house one more day for material and waited for my inevitable demise. Friends call me back as I’m outside freaking the inferno out and they start to rush home.

Long story short the cops depicted up with two dogs and artilleries pointed at me and I get slammed to the ground and handcuff, friends arrived at home and explained situation just in time before I’m hauled off, they decided to run out to eat at the exact convenient time I left, never told me, and left the bank door unlocked with the house alarm armed. That was a hell of a night…

#32

Was sitting and watching Tv, neighbours came over to visit with their kids. Their daughter operates over, inexplicably sits in my lap and jumps up and down several times before I can stand up.

The remote was in my lap. Kid says “What’s that hard thing? ” and stands up promptly. A little shaken, I also stand up, the remote falls off my lap and lands on the floor, and as I lean down to pick it up, I take a step forward and I kick it for the purposes of the coffee table. Turn to explain myself , notice I’m wearing pants that bunch up in the crotch Larry David style.

Awkward.

#33

I drew an all-nighter once, came home after project, and sat down at the computer to check some emails. I was barely able to comprehend the words on the screen I was so tired. I reached into my gym shorts to scratch my balls, and I guess i just passed out within the next few seconds. I was detected passed out in the computer chair with my hand down the front of my shorts.

#34

My brother and I got into a fist battle( he was right, I was wrong) and he punched me in the mouth. I was hemorrhaging pretty good and continued spitting blood on him for some reason. He went into the condo( vacation) and my mommy freaked out because he had blood all over him. It ran a little like this Mom – OMG YOUa

RE COVERED IN BLOOD Brother – calm down it isna

t my blood Mom – OMFG WHOSE BLOOD IS IT WHAT DID YOU DO ?!?! Brother – Mom Ita

s fine ita

s simply Tylera

s( me) blood Mom – OMFG DID YOU F ** KING KILL HIM ?!?! WHERE IS TYLER ?!?!? I strolled in shortly after alive and well. The dispute between my brother and I was resolved btw.

#35

This is light-hearted.

I was like 13 channel surfing. I’m flowing through the crap channels. Exaclty as my papa walkings in the back door with my little brother, I flip past a browse network that is showing bras on live frameworks. I must have been on that channel for. 8 seconds. It was so ridiculously day, that it looked like I had the demonstrate on and changed it right after he came in. He gave me s ** t for it and wouldn’t believe me.

#36

When my brother was young he was playing with the vacuum and covered himself with those suction circles. He had a physical subsequently that day and was like he was covered in hickeys

#37

Also more of a “this isn’t what it sounds like”…

I was a weird person in high school, and my friends are similarly weird. We had no boundaries.

My friend and I were strolling to class, and were discussing the Jackass clip where they had a gas mask and tube assembly where one person wore the mask and the other farted into the tube. We supposed this sounded like a pretty cool notion and were considering trying this out..

As we walked around the corner, I said to him, “I’ll suck yours if you’d suck mine”. Que the hot girl conveniently rounding the corner at that precise moment…

#38

My wife and I used to hide money in her underwear drawer so our kids won’t be delving through it because they think it’s gross. One morning, I was get garmented and wanted to get some money before I forget, so I was excavating through her underwear when my 5-year old son ensure me. He asked what I was doing and naturally, I can’t tell him that I needed fund so I had to say something like that I was cleaning things up. Pretty sure he didn’t believe me and envisioned I was looking for a pair to wear.

Read more: http :// www.boredpanda.com/ this-isnt-what-it-looks-like-moment-ask-reddit /~ ATAGEND

How to stream U.S. elections coverage if you dont have TV

You don’t need a TV to tune in to live coverage of the U.S. elections results today- and you don’t have to have Hulu or the other live TV streaming service, either. Today, YouTube announced a listing of news organizations that will be broadcasting live elections coverage on its site today- helpful for those who don’t have another way to watch at home, or need to tune in while on the go. There’s also live coverage available on other websites, including Facebook, Twitch, Twitter and elsewhere.

As more people cut the cord with traditional pay TV, YouTube’s reach has been growing when it comes to distributing the news. That’s apparent in the list of available news media organizations that has now decided to broadcast live to YouTube tonight.

For comparison’s sake, YouTube in 2016 reported viewers had invested over 20 million hours watching and rewatching the presidential debates on the site ahead of the U.S. elections. It then pointed spectators to live coverage from a handful of outlets like NBC, PBS, Bloomberg and Telemundo, as well as MTV, the online news show The Young Turks, and an election special from Complex News.

This time around, all the major broadcast networks are participating on YouTube’s platform.

The company says spectators can tune in to watch live election results throughout the evening on the following channels 😛 TAGEND

ABC News

CBS News

Fox News

NBC News

PBS NewsHour

Telemundo

Univision

USA Today

Washington Post